Saturday, December 15, 2007


fuiyooooooooooo...lama giller tak jot down, anyway life has been so and so..nothing special except..i repeat; EXCEPT dah berhari-hari hujan. it has been raining non stop, and flood and water and flood and rain and flood and wet! risau gak bila Tv shows cerita banjir ni..and i wonder bila nak stop. tapi bila diamati betol2,and HE is 'cleaning' and doing some 'cleansing' lah, banyak sgt dosa yang manusia buat skang ni, termasuklah aku, kau dan semua yang bergelar manusia.

so, aku setiap ari berdoa agar kita smua selamat, biarlah ini menjadi teladan buat kita semua.and for one simple thing, we need to make sure we are 'clean'....praise to Almighty...

Monday, November 26, 2007

aku yang pemarah

bersalah yang amat....last night i really did something stupid, i coudn't control my anger...and i pitied my daughter...what a bad mother i am...isk isk isk...abis anak aku kene marah...then she got fever, kept on vomiting sampai dh tak keluar apa2....i was panicked..suddenly i thought oh GOD, what have i done? i didn't touch her or anything, probably my loud voice gave her shocked... how i feel so bad...and today she is still sick, but no more vomiting...thank GOD...
Ya ALLAH, berikanlah kesihatan kepada anak ku...dan ampuni dosa2 ku...

Daripada Abu Hurairah r.a. bahawasanya Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda:"Bukannya orang yang gagah itu orang yang menang dalam perkelahian, tetapi yang dinamakan orang gagah ialah orang yang dapat menguasai dirinya di waktu marah."

Monday, November 12, 2007

raya dah abis...

yesterday Syawal ended peacefully. alahai....really bored and understress...dont know what to do, i've tried to cheer myself up but useless..damn bored!
one special thing happened-- my ex came yesterday, with his lovely wife and cute lil girl. what a happy family....hope they'll last till forever.

and for baby is getting naughtier and naughtier....dont know what's got into her..but still as charming and adorable as skinnier and a living a skeleton...huahaahahah......

Monday, September 17, 2007

Ramadhan al-Mubarak

salam RAMADHAN..
Here the holy month at last came to visit all Muslims in the world. i've been blessed again, and thank you ALLAH for giving me a chance to convey my love to YOU.
not many of us understand the reality of Ramadhan..the beauty that lies beneath the hunger we have to bear. and yes, i am truly blessed!

but the sad thing is, there are still people who dont even care about the holy month. unable to understand, i could only pray for their happiness and hope they would also be blessed by ALLAH.

then again, SALAM RAMADHAN to all people out there...may GOD bless us with happiness, joy and forever love...ameen

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

new job, new life

aku dah mula keje baru yesterday. another one big leap i've taken. tapi takpe, aku boleh buatnyer! tapi bila aku datang yesterday, there was no one greeting me (sigh...) bukan apa, diorg tgh cuti semester break, mana nk ada sambut aku (aku ni sapelah utk disambut2, ditimang2). and today is my second day here...masih takde org gak, cuma tadi ada one guy came, he's one of the people in this jabatan. talked a few...mostly only listened, malas nk byk2 cakap, kang org kata over lah pulak minah ni.
separuh ari aku berfikir, betol ke tindakan aku datang ke sini? aku takut je silap, mana leh patah balik kan? what goes around comes around (what the heck it means i tak tau)....tapi hopefully my decision this time is correct. really really hope so.
so next week classes will start, but i don't even have a clue subjek pe yg nk kene ajar, even my kj pun tak jumpa lagi. tempat duduk pun takde lagi tau, merempat ler jawabnyer dua tiga ari ni! bosan betol! jgn sampai aku merempat sampai ke sudah, mati aku!
tu jer lah citer aku untuk dua tuga ari ni....sedey gak tinggalkan tempat keje lama, tapi laki aku insists this is the best for me....hope he's right. kalu tak ada kene sepak ngan aku (nk sepak laki sendiri ker...tulah kang!)
ok, saya, karam bot ntah ke mana, melaporkan untuk TV3...ooouchhh!!!!!!!!


i just love this song....simple but meaningful. tells you what you need to know...

You're a falling star, you're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute.
Ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're every song, and I sing along.
'Cause you're my everything.
Yeah, yeah

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

people & their stupid lies

lots of things happened in my life these few days. didnt imagine i passed thru another day with sunshine upon my face. sorry, but i've just been too busy, with little things turned big!

it's hard to find good friends, no matter where u are. people seem to be pretending most of the time..i wonder where are the true faces, so clever of them still holding the lies between the truth. Hypocrite and stupidity are all in the one time i feel so stupid knowing them, or even coming near them.. they are just parasite, eating whatever that they can in order to live.

but then, true friends come on time. when i started feeling insecure of what live brings, true friends saved me...i appreciate that. true friends really a great deal to me. i know true friends are really true, true in life, true in heart. and that matters the most.

so to my true friends (you know who you are)... thank you for saving me...thank you...

Wednesday, July 18, 2007


we meet again.

last night i had this weird dream...i was in the middle of somewhere with somebody i dont know who. and to my suprise, i saw him, the person that once affected my life. it was some kind of a gathering with my friends talking and laughing (macam kenduri kawin). then this weird feeling suddenly came, gosh how i hate this feeling to come again...

oh God why cant i just forget him totally? why was him in my dream?stupid stupid stupid!!!!

oh God i feel guilty.....HELP!
p/s: this little girl now is 1 year and 3 months old.
started walking very the late....around 1 month ago
very talkative, adorable yet very stubborn.
LOVE of my LIFE....muahhhsssss!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

my big superfreak thing!

it's been a while since i jot down a few words (or shall i say, a few other people's words) in here. anyway, what a life i've been thru, there are ups and downs, but above all, everything goes as i planned (and again, as i thought i would be..)
Harry Potter is out. cant wait to watch it (hey, who cares whether it is another stupid saga). as far as i know, watching all Harry Potter's movies are no stupid. they are all brilliant piece of work that no other movies cant even challenge (i am a big fan of all craps and supernatural and highly imaginated story, so bare with me).
it is sad though to know this is the fifth (and of course only to find out that sirius died in this movie) movie, but to be honest, reading the books are more challenging than watching the movies. if you only watch without having any input whatsoever, you will feel ok but for me, i felt a bit dissatisfied when a few plots in the book are not visualised in the film. sad but maybe J.K. Rowling's wild unourdinary visions are far to be reached. maybe....
will tell you more what i feel, what i think after i watch the back soon!


Friday, June 29, 2007

Not Ready to Make Nice

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting
I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying
I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell andI don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it
I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

Friday, June 15, 2007

HEROES in you

Where does it come from, this quest...

this need to solve life's mysteries when the simplest of questions can never be answered?

Why are we here? What is the soul? Why do we dream?

Perhaps we'd be better off not looking at all: not delving, not yearning.

But that's not human nature, not the human heart.

That is not why we are here.

Yet still we struggle to make a difference, to change the world,

to dream of hope, never knowing for certain who we will meet along the way...

who among the world of strangers will hold our hand... touch our hearts...

and share the pain of trying.

We dream of hope, we dream of change... of fire and life and death,

and then it happens.

The dream becomes real, and the answer to this quest,

this need to solve life's mysteries, finally shows itself, like the glowing light of a new dawn.

So much struggle for meaning, for purpose, and in the end,

we find it only in each other, our shared experience of the fantastic and the mundane...

the simple human need to find a kindred — to connect — and to know in our hearts...

that we are not alone.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

God's Creation...

how nice of God to share His love and blessings with me and the rest....enjoying life with my love ones at a place where God has captured for the people to share and love, i really appreciate my life. For what God has given me, i can't repay Him, only my loyalty towards Him is the best i can give....feel ashame of myself..

Monday, June 11, 2007


good day.

last two weeks was a blast for me. i managed to spend a very quality time with my family, one thing i couldn't do these days. been busy with work and stuff make me a very dull and unenergetic person..i was so tired when it comes to end of the week. but last week was heaven! being able to be myself again without no politics and hipocracy, i feel alive again...

being able to go for a holiday with my love ones was a tremendously awesome! I love it! Can't explain with words...JUST LOVE IT!

it's like a reboot for me....being away from work and daily routines are good sometimes...hey who doesn't need break? even robots need to recharge/ re and re once a while.

the place we went was wonderful, even though not that far (i cant afford to go overseas..isk isk isk), but the impact on me was terrific! i feel like a new man! hahaha...holidays, shopping, relaxing, breathing fresh air, blessed by God's creations.....all make me think how precious i am, how God has given me everything i need, even though i couldn't really see through it.

makes me feel how i am blessed by HIM...ameen...

Wednesday, May 30, 2007


Ku mengerti perpisahan ini
Bukan kerana kau membenci
Tapi kasih yang pernah ku beri
Tiada lagi bersama
Sering kala aku terlihatkan mu
Impian nan indah julang bahagia
Ku harungi hari demi hari
Bersama wajah tak mungkin akan kembali
Tapi hati masih tak terima
Ditinggalkan sengsara
Keraguan ini bukanlah padamu
Perasaan hati masih rindu
Kekalutan ini hanyalah untukku
Tercari-cari bayanganmu
Tak sanggup aku kehilangan
Masih tercari-cari.....

Listening to this song, how i felt so stupid thinking about the past. so many people said 'only time heals'...i still didn't get it. why do i still feel the feelings i shouldn't have felt? things are so tough to be compiled and sealed together. i've tried to post the feelings away from me...let it be..but i just can't. i felt sorry for my love, my heart that hurts because of the cruelty i've done to them. i should have let the feelings go by now, before someone else gets hurt...or it might be late....God please help me....................................

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Hadapi Dengan Senyuman

hadapi dengan senyuman
semua yang terjadi
biar terjadi
hadapi dengan tenang jiwa
semua kan baik baik saja

bila ketetapan Tuhan
sudah ditetapkan
tetaplah sudah
tak ada yang bisa merubah
dan takkan bisa berubah

relakanlah saja ini
bahawa semua yang terjadi
terbaik untuk kita semua
menyerahlah untuk menang....

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

a day in my life

i'll be going for my convocation tomorrow...whooaaaa cant imagine that i finally graduated from my masters...some kind of relief to know that i've ended that one small portion of journey in my life....i never thought that i will have a masters a dream...

anyway looking back, i wonder how i've strived to become the person i am now. all the sacrifices i've made to be here, all the tears, all the sweats (and of course.. the sweet talk bla bla bla..)

but one thing i understand now, whatever you want, you need to be willing to sacrifice...hey! reality bites!

but in real life, you will never know what will you get, until you are there..
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now
Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now
And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how
Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all...You're my wonderwall
Today was gonna be the day?
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now
And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how
I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all...You're my wonderwall

Thursday, May 17, 2007

what say you?


entahlah, bukan nak mengata atau mencerca, tapi inilah kebenaran yang kekadang orang susah nak paham. bila melihatkan keadaan dunia sekarang, terutama orang melayu aku jadi malu, konon nak memartabatkan bangsa tapi yang akhirnya menghancurkan adalah! lihat ajelah di sekeliling, orang melayu tak berpakaian (cuma tutup mana perlu)...anak dilahirkan tanpa bin atau binti...aku serabut...serabut yang amat...

tapi yang paling aku malu, bila yang pesalah tahu kesalahannya tapi tetap teguh melakukan kesalahan tu. sedangkan Islam sendiri dah nyatakan, kalau tidak dipraktikkan ilmu yang ada, sedangkan dia tahu, neraka lah jawabnye...melayu Islam apa yang kita nak lahirkan? takutnya Allah saja yang tahu.

aku terfikir juga, apa akan jadi bila dunia nak masuk 2020? adakah nilai yang kita laung-laungkan masih tetap ada? atau cuma tercatat di buku2 dan di kertas2 (entah orang tahu atau tidak kewujudan kertas-kertas ni)...sebagai insan yang ada mata, ada telinga, ada rasa, ada perasaan, aku menjadi semakin takut memikirkan...memikirkan yang bakal terjadi dan apa yang patut aku buat? adakah anak2 aku akan turut sama dalam 'perarakan' menyundalkan agama dan bangsa? Nauzubillah....

banyak lagi yang ingin aku tulis tapi nantilah, kalau ada lagi yang terfikir dek hati, terasa dek fikiran, aku akan luahkan....

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Terlalu Cinta

Jangan dekat atau jangan datang kepadaku lagi
Aku semakin tersiksa karena tak memilikimu
Kucoba jalani hari dengan pengganti dirimu
Tapi hatiku selalu berpihak lagi padamu
Mengapa semua ini terjadi kepadaku
Tuhan maafkan diri ini
Yang tak pernah bisa menjauh dari angan tentangnya
Namun apalah daya ini
Bila ternyata sesungguhnya aku terlalu cinta dia
Tapi hatiku selalu berpihak lagi padamu
Mengapa semua ini terjadi kepadaku
Tuhan maafkan diri ini
Yang tak pernah bisa menjauh dari angan tentangnya
Namun apalah daya ini
Bila ternyata sesungguhnya
Aku terlalu cinta dia


jangan kau kira cinta yang datang dari keakraban yang lama, CINTA adalah anak kecocokan jiwa, dan jika itu tiada, CINTA tidak akan tercipta...-Khalil Gibran-

so much truth in it..never in my life i really understood a thing..but these words, they really gave me something, making me realized that without two souls understanding each other, accepting each other...LOVE would not have been live a life with someone you need more than need everything....