salam...
i've been all by myself this week...tetiba rasa sedih n sayu je bila sorg2...suddenly semua bnda yg aku buat tak kira baik atau jahat....mcm flashback tetiba. bukn apa, aku teringat apa yg aku buat to my kids, esp to nurin...i wasn't fair to her..dia selalu kene marah, semua tak kene bila dia buat sumthing...she's such a good girl, really good girl...sayu bila aku teringat balik muka dia when she looked at me. i totally feel sad. i am not a good mother..
since aqil was born, nurin is not treated like she was before. bukn aku dera dia or apa...but aku takut aku dera dia mentally...takut sgt aku akan besarkn seorg manusia yg teruk nnt, yg mindanya didera...she felt it i know...because i felt it also. i love her so much..she's my girl. tp aku tak adil pd dia....hati aku ni bagai kene siat bila aku pkir balik apa yg aku dh buat pd dia, n i know she's been acting dat way sbb nk my attention again. not dat i blame aqil my love for nurin has changed....no no my love is still the same for her but the treat i gave her..mmg dh berubah...
oh Tuhan, aku amat rasa bersalah, ashamed of what i've done.
Nurin sayang, if u read dis, one day u'll know dat i love u so much! perangai mummy mmg teruk, mummy tak layan nurin properly. tapi mummy sayang sgt nurin, i love u so much....no words could express how i feel for u..mummy mintak maaf for everything yg mummy dh buat....i hope u will never change ur love to me as my love for u will always be the same forever....I LOVE U NURIN SAYANG....
